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Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Life is about living

How does one show proof of long painful days and longer sleepless nights...
Insults
Humilation
Abuse
Ugly fights
Uglier bouts of silence and vengeance
Break of trust
Vows


How does one explain that we tend to hide more than we show
That behind many a door may lie unhappy souls waiting to break free
Trying to protect young innocent minds
Smiling
Laughing
So that the world doesn't know
That a relationship that exists no more is still being protected

Noone wants to be vulnerable
Noone wants to be exposed


We all hope for change
Hope for a day when things will be better

But there is ample proof of such lives
I can see them everyday
The empty smiles
The hidden questions
The muted respect for those who had the courage

To all those out there,
Just take that step.
That holds you back .
Live Life.
We have only one.
We owe ourselves and our children that.

Saturday, February 11, 2012

The Signs

When....

the dining table sees more arguments than conversations
anniversary days are remembered more by parents and siblings
work hours slip into weekends
individual passions and interests take precedence over togetherness
every purchase becomes a debate point
holidays are more a ritual for the kids
pillow talk is a distant memory
there is intolerance for behaviour which seemed cute before
you wish for a study of your own
and long for a vacation only with friends
chatting and facebook is the best pasttime
sex becomes a compliance rather than desire

... it is best to accept that

the relationship is at breaking point
it is time to talk
and take a call
to make those changes
or move on

for all those who chose the third way of compromise...
it is just that.... a compromise

What I learned at Surajkund today

As I looked out of the Innova window at the swanking new cavity less Faridabad Highway, I wondered how crowded the Surajkund mela would be. Since it was a Saturday and the last weekend for the Annual Fair.

For those who are not familiar, Surajkund, in Haryana, hosts an annual fair where more than 400 national and state awarded craftsmen display and sell their handicrafts. This year, India, SAARC and othere neighbouring countries had their stalls on display.

The grounds are undulating and nicely made into winding paths with artisians in their stalls lining both sides. The paths would circle around open air stages where folk dances and music would be on, captured on cameras by the audience.

The host state was Assam and I was proud to see displaysof an Assamese Namghar( house of worship),a village house with its granary, fishing baskets called jakois, weaving looms.

I admired the brass, the mirror work, the wooden hand made toys and decor pieces.

But also found myself wondering whether they were overpriced. Where would I use them at home?
And after admiring the work, I walked to the next stall, pretending not to see the slight disappointment on faces lined with hard work, breaking into a smile at the next person at the stall.

And then I was embarassed.
At myself.

Do I even think twice about walking into a mall and watch plastic smiles swiping my cards as I splash out on things I certainly can do without.

Do I look at a branded piece and ask... is it worth it?

Do I stop my daughteer from walking into fast food joints that can only add to empty calories?

Then what does it take for me to encourage such skilled and talented craftsmen and artisans who were using this occasion to find new customers ?

What they have is as valuable as anything else out there.
Maybe much more because they do not have the economies of scale brought by massive production units and masked factory workers.

Their families and future depend on their trade.
Or else , their children will be disillusioned and join the rat race most of us have fallen prey to.

And cut the umbilical cord of the skillset of a nation we should all be proud of.

So yes, we all have choices.
And we have a right to live the way we want.
Sermonisations have no place.
This piece is just a reflection.

And a realisation.

I returned home, a wiser person.
Surajkund taught me much more than I expected.

Thursday, February 9, 2012

The Non Smoking Break

My dear friend and colleague called me .
I was in the middle of the usual manage fires at work mode.
I started off by mumbling , " So sorry but I am very caught up...." assuming that the call was about work.
It was not.
It was about the loss of her father.
And my friend wanted to share this sad news with me.

I was humbled.
Of course I rushed down.
Of course I replied back on email.

We sometimes get so occupied with ourselves that we forget that life is also about people, friends, relationships.
It is about caring, sharing, celebrating.
About holding that hand when in need.

It is important to punctuate our work hours with little breaks.
While I do not encourage smoking, smokers do this very well.
They step out, they bond, they talk. And get back to work.

Can be done anyways.
Maybe have that coffee on the terrace instead of the desk.
Maybe walk down to a collague and share the lunch box.
Or have that debate over a sandwich.

If not anything, it will make us more human.
And help us not to lose what makes us human.