Sunday, August 29, 2010

The Dark Side

If there is one thing I was coveting and craving for all my life, it was a - well- hate to say this but here goes- a fair complexion. Grown up with greetings from aunties - "Oh Sadhana ( my mother) how come she is sooooo dark?" "So what, she is very good in studies", pat came my mother's retort. I wish she had said-" So what if she is dark". But took ma's defence to heart and really pushed myself.

JWT happened, big brands, big clients, good career- but my craving and coveting was still there- like a dormant animal that kept gnawing at me. People who knew my complex used it as the sharpest barb.

A compliment like- wow you look gorgeous- meant more to me than -wow- you have done a superb job.So I went on a weight loss spree, and spent time "packaging" myself. To compensate for my dark side. And it worked. For the first meeting. The first encounters. Post that the best bonds, relationships happened because of the work or what I brought to the table.

Pretty much like packaging brands I must say. It's important to get the packaging just right to appeal to the senses and be a magnet on the shelves. But post that, only true substance can ensure loyalty or repeat purchase. The packaging gets crumpled and binned. And alongwith it, the first perceptions also get binned if the product does not deliver.

It took me 39 long years to come to terms with my dark side. But today I realise that these dark forces were just demons inside my head. And that it is upto each of us to overcome our insecurities and strengthen our substance. Our values. Our talents. That's what creates the ultimate bond.And overcomes our darkest fears.


  1. Superlative:) could'nt agree more.
    The demons inside our head create barriers that make life's journey a little difficult but more interesting.

    Kudos for killing the DEMONS.

  2. 39 long years to come to terms with my dark side. that exaggerated copy. shouldn't the exact copy be 25 years, cause the photos say so. rem: picture speaks a 1000....

  3. u r takes such a long time to repair the damages that simple colour biased statements one hears in ones childhood make. u've touched a nerve that so many women must have gone through.

    but u ...dark??? ummm...I guess it's relative.

    when my mom was a of her friends said 'they make roads with the water that you wash your face with'. such a mean thing to say and it left a scar on her until she met my dad.